The Cortland Area Communities that Care Coalition seeks to reduce risk factors that affect adolescents such as teen pregnancy. With October being Lets Talk Month, this is the perfect time for parents to reflect on their efforts to talk to their children about sex and sexuality.

Parents should be the primary sexuality educators of their children. This can be a daunting task for many. Parents are unsure of when to begin, what to say and how to start conversations. While many parents put off these important discussions their children are being bombarded with messages about sex everywhere. Media gives messages in a million ways about sex and sexuality. The internet has opened a whole new world of information to young people. Some of it is not accurate and most of it does not come with additional explanation about things like values, safety and responsibility.  That is why parents are so important. Parents can provide a context for the world today. They can provide a safe place to have discussions that go far deeper that what a child sees in one episode on TV. More importantly, parents, not the media, need to teach their children about their values and beliefs around this delicate topic.

With this in mind here are some tips to help you start or continue to keep talking to your children about sex.

Start early.

Talking to your kids about sex is NOT a one time conversation that begins around puberty. Start when a child is young and give them age appropriate information. Something as simple as using correct terms for their body parts teaches children respect for their bodies.  As your child grows the conversations become more detailed and complex. Think about what information you want your child to have. Be proactive not reactive.

Listen to your child.

 Children want information from their parents. If you have been talking with your child from an early age, you have laid the foundation for the teen years when things can be more difficult and confusing. As they move through adolescence, they go through tremendous body changes. They need reassurance they are normal. Once they reach adolescence information is critical. Create discussions not lectures. Listen to what they think. Although it may be hard, don’t jump to conclusions when your teen comes to you with a question. There may be many reasons they are asking the question. Your reaction to them will determine whether the conversation continues or stops right there.

Be informed.

Without an accurate view of what is really going on you can’t help your child make sense of things. For example, many parents underestimate and many teens overestimate the percentage of teens that are sexually active. Teens need to know not everyone is having sex. Providing teens with accurate information is vital to being able to make sound decisions based on fact not fiction.This article simplifies the task parents have before them to talk to their children about sex. Classes and resources are available on this topic through the Jacobus Center for Reproductive Health.

For more information call Mary Dykeman at 753-5088. By: Mary Dykeman, Health EducatorJacobus Center for Reproductive HealthCortland County Health Department